Be Cool, Don't Panic
Seriously, if you get into a situation where your teen says or does something that really gets under your skin, do not act out of anger or frustration. Be cool. They're learning to walk through life just like when they took their first steps...we didn't get angry when they fell. Don't panic when they don't always make the right decisions, be present and patient in love.
Put Yourself on a Time Out
It's easy to react in the moment when your teen makes a mistake. The best guidance comes from parents that are totally present and not caught up in their own stressors. Take some time to yourself to feed your soul, meditate, take a soothing hot bath, go for a walk, light some candles. Then talk to your teen from a full cup.
Remove Control from the Equation
I know this sounds crazy, but we're not here to control our kids. Yes yes, it's ok to disagree, but hear me out. We're here to keep our kids safe and guide them as they explore this world, but most importantly, as they explore who they came here to be. The sooner you understand you can't control anything outside of yourself, the sooner you'll find yourself guiding your teen with FAR less resistance on their part.
Lead By Example
Our children will always do what they see us doing before they do what we tell them to do. If you're on your phone all day, lack sleep, and have terrible eating habits, don't expect much difference in behavior from them. We are their guides, but more importantly we are really their inspiration.
Praise Often
We used to be dreamers with a huge imagination, and now all we can think about is what didn't get done. Take time to really see the things your teen is up to. Make time to be interested in who they are becoming and point out the good things they do, no matter how small those things might be at first. If the only thing they ever hear is what didn't get done, they may start to feel like you're not seeing them for all that they are.
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